Rooted in Grace: A Biblical Look at Ancestry & Genealogy- Part 2

In the last blog, “Know Your Roots” in the I talked about ancestry and genealogy, why it’s important to know where you come from and your heritage. Family history is not such a new found hobby or science, people have been studying it for years. In the medical field, its important to known your family medical history to look any genetic markers or heredity diseases or disorders. Those who have been adopted into a loving family, still yearn to learn about their biological family. That is completely normal. When you get married and start building your own family like I am, its important you and your spouse look at your family trees as you continue to grow the branches and leaves. I’m gonna “retweet” myself here a line from my previous post “Learn the past, but don’t you dare stay stuck in it-move forward! If you don’t know your history, you may be bound to repeat it. If you don’t know your past, how will you truly have a future?” In bible times, they felt the same way about remembering their roots but forging their own path in God’s call. Let’s look at some biblical examples of ancestry and good ole fashioned family trees: after all we all came from Adam and Eve, [The Genealogy of Adam to Noah is found in Genesis 5, Noah’s Descendants are found in Genesis 10, and Abraham is a descendant of Shem’s tribe found in Genesis 11] but let’s fast forward…

Abraham: Father of Nations- In Genesis, Abram was a faithful servant of the Lord. God called him to go from his country away from his father’s land, the place he called home for most of his life. He was starting new, uprooting and replanting somewhere else. God calls us to bloom where we’re planted, sometimes He calls us to pick up roots and replant in order to grow.  Abram had an encounter with God, so amazing that God changed his name to Abraham. He and his wife Sarai, her name became Sarah. His name Abraham literally means “father of nations” and her name now meant “princess”. Our names, are part of our story and identity,  who He made each of us to be. When God changed someone’s life and their situation, He also changed their name. Abraham’s very name included the words father-something that most men among to be. Now you see, Abraham and Sarah loved each other and the Lord very much. They had been married many years and were very old in age. The thing is, they had no children. God made a promise-a covenant that included land, descendants that would outnumber the stars in the sky and build a nation that would be a blessing to the entire earth. How was the father of nations to be a father when he had no children? No son to call an heir or to teach him how to be a man. And for Sarah, this was extremely heartbreaking because she was barren. The heaviness of not bearing children for her husband weighed on her. One day, Sarah had a plan. Her plan included another woman, her servant Hagar.

Issac: The Chosen Child- A child born late in life to happy parents who waited his miraculous arrival  and the older half sibling born of a compromise and agreement-created a blended family dynamic. Isaac was the promised child, Ishmael was the compromise child. As mentioned above Sarah thought for sure that she would never be a mother naturally so she decided to become one on her own terms, through her trusted maidservant becoming a surrogate. Sarah became jealous once young Ishmael was in the picture and when her pride and joy Isaac was born she made Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael away. A true example of a blended family and half siblings. I, too was a late in life baby born to much older parents with much older half siblings. Miracles happen, Sarah was 90 years old and literally laughed when the angel told her she would have a baby, I mean I would too! Isaac’s name literally means “laughter”. Miracles happen because this is still family. Even if its messy. I come from a blended family with half siblings too.

Jacob & Esau: Sibling Rivalry & Stolen Inheritance – Isaac grew up and married a beautiful wife named Rebekah. They were thrilled at the idea of becoming parents-and guess what it’s TWINS! God gave them a double portion of blessings! Esau was the older twin, debuting first out of the womb and Jacob was clinging to his heel on the way out. They entered this world in a wrestling match and they struggled with each other the rest of their lives. Esau was a strong rugged outdoorsy man, he was a hunter gatherer and provided food for his family. When Isaac was old and well in his years, his vision and cognitive awareness wasn’t what it used to be and Jacob took advantage of that with the help of Mama Rebekah. Esau was outraged, and rightfully so-his own twin brother AND mother betrayed not only his trust but their own father. Remember this is not the first example of sibling rivalry (Cain and Abel) and won’t be the last in the Bible, Jacob realizes later that picking favorites causes dysfunction and hurt.

The 12 Tribes of Israel (aka the sons of Jacob) – After Jacob fled to the land of his mother, to stay with relatives his Uncle Laban. Laban was Rebekah’s brother. Laban had many sheep, a lot of land and two daughters- Leah the eldest and Rachel the younger. It was love at first sight for Jacob when he saw Rachel. Laban made a deal with Jacob to work for him SEVEN years just to marry her. Little did Jacob know his former deceitful and conniving ways were catching up with him. When that seventh year was up and the wedding day and night came, Laban sent Leah his older daughter in the wedding chambers to lay with her new husband Jacob. Jacob was alarmed when he didn’t wake up next to his chosen and beloved Rachel. He had been tricked! He then had to turn around and work SEVEN MORE years to marry Rachel. So 14 years later, 2 wives and 2 concubines later (he gained their maidservants Zilpah and Milcah as well) Jacob began to start a family. Jacob’s twelve in birth order were Reuben (by Leah), Simeon (by Leah), Levi (by Leah), Judah (also by Leah), Dan (by Bilhah Rachel’s servant), Naphtali (by Bilhah), Gad (by Zilpah Leah’s servant) , Asher (by Zilpah), Issachar (by Leah), Zebulun (by Leah), one daughter named Dinah (by Leah), Joseph (by Rachel) and Benjamin (by Rachel) whom she died giving birth to. Jacob grieved his beloved Rachel. Two sisters who loved the same man. One big family with alot sibling rivalry. Joseph’s brothers we know were very jealous of him and you can read the rest of Genesis to find out his story of redemption and forgiveness. One man, Jacob- became the father of a nation just like his grandfather. Jacob had a dream and was visited by an angel. He literally wrestled with God, He touched his hip socket and he was never the same! The point being- when you have an encounter with God you won’t even walk and talk the same as you were before Abram became Abraham,  Sarai became Sarah, and Jacob became Israel! He went from being “deceiver” to “He who strives or wrestles with God”. God changes things, circumstances and you!

The Lion of Judah: the unofficial “Royal Family” Just before Jacob/Israel passed away and all his sons had made peace with each other and their brother Joseph,  he prayed and blessed each of his sons as well as his grandsons Ephraim and Manasseh-Joseph’s two sons. This was more than just a prayer and farewell to his beloved sons, it was him prophesying over his sons as tribes of a great nation: He knew that God has something great for the future regarding his legacy of sons. He said to Judah – “Judah, your brothers shall praise you; your hand shall be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons shall bow down before you. Judah is a lion’s cub; from the prey, my son, you have gone up. He stooped down; he crouched as a lion and as a lioness; who dares rouse him? The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until tribute comes to him; and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples. Binding his foal to the vine and his donkey’s colt to the choice vine, he has washed his garments in wine and his vesture in the blood of grapes. His eyes are darker than wine, and his teeth whiter than milk.”
Genesis 49:8‭-‬12 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/gen.49.8-12.ESV. (Judah must’ve have been what we call “tall, dark and handsome”) Judah’s family was not by any means perfect or special in any extraordinary way but God chose his descendants to be the royal bloodline. Judah himself was not a king, neither were his sons. In fact, Judah’s sons were actually pretty wicked. Judah himself didn’t always do the “honorable” thing either. But God honored the same covenant He had with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and now Judah…your people, your family will be a blessing to all the people on earth. Jesus is called the Lion of Judah, the lion has and always will represent the King, a symbol of power and royalty. The scepter and ruler’s staff would never depart from his descendants nor would the throne ever leave the family. I think of the depiction in C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, the beautiful King Aslan-is to be a parallel representation of Jesus. Let’s go further and look at Judah’s descendants that almost never existed but God had a plan…

The Women Who Birthed the Mighty Men: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba & Mary- one by one these women and the offspring of their wombs impacted the prophecies that were to be fulfilled!

Tamar- Let’s look at Judah’s immediate family and in laws for a minute. This family story is about to get a little crazy. Judah married a Canaanite woman and she born him three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. The lovely Tamar was married to Er, he was dishonorable to God and died because of his wicked ways. She was then to marry his brother, fulfilling the levirate law of marriage if there is no heir of the deceased, she must marry the brother to conceive a son for the deceased brother. So she married Onan, who was also dishonorable and wicked, he failed to impregnate her and he died also. Lastly, she was promised and betrothed to Shelah the youngest son who was far too young for marriage and he had to become an adult before she could marry him. Her father in law Judah promised her his youngest son to produce heirs. She was a widow twice and now barren and childless yet she had to patiently wait. Years had passed, Judah’s wife had died and he grieved her accordingly. He was out hanging with one of his old buddies at a sheep shearing and was trying to low key find him a new wife in the same place he found his first wife. (Cue music “Looking for love in all the wrong places…”) Judah had not kept his promise to Tamar and neglected to fulfill his father in law duties because Shelah was now an adult. Tamar heard that he was in town and took matters into her own hands, she disguised herself pretended to be a prostitute and Judah had relations with her. Judah offered the “harlot” a kid (goat, not human) as payment and she asked for collateral until he was to pay her. She asked for his seal, cord, and staff. When Judah’s friend Hirah brought the kid, everyone said they didn’t know a town harlot. They found out it was Tamar and wanted to have her executed for breaking her marital vows with her in- laws, little did they know that was indeed about three months pregnant with TWINS! She said the man who these items belongs to, is the father of my unborn children. Judah then came forth confessing that he had slept with Tamar unknowingly. He let his bad decisions take control and she proclaimed what was rightfully hers in a somewhat scandalous way. She had finished her task and put back on her widow’s clothes. She had been forgotten and rejected, and now redeemed. She bore him twin sons Perez and Zerah. Talk about some soap opera family drama! And people think the bible is boring!!! She Reads Truth author Melanie Rainer puts it this way “That is a lot of background to unpack a story that is, at its root, a story of God’s faithfulness to a family. God had made a promise to Abraham. He made a promise to Isaac and to Jacob. And at so many turns, the promise appears threatened by someone’s sin. Judah almost destroyed what he should never have had in the first place: the blessing of the line of Christ.” God used Tamar despite the sins of the family, He kept the covenant from Abraham, Isaac, Jacob to the fourth generation Judah. From Perez, the family tree continues….he is the ancestor of King David but let’s see how. Let’s fast forward the Abraham through Judah links we already know and read Matthew 1:3-6a “and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram,  and Ram the father of Amminadab, and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David the king. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah,
Matthew 1:3-6 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/mat.1.6.ESV

Rahab- Another somewhat scandalous woman with a town reputation. Rahab was indeed a harlot. She actually married Tamar and Judah’s 5th great grandson Salmon! Let’s look at Joshua 2, enter the land of Canaan the Israelites were promised, but they had a slight inconvenience,  people already inhabited their promised land so they sent spies to check it out before they went to conquer,  “And Joshua the son of Nun sent two men secretly from Shittim as spies, saying, “Go, view the land, especially Jericho.” They found refuge and a willing aid in an unlikely woman– “And they went and came into the house of a prostitute whose name was Rahab and lodged there.” They were being hunted and found safety in Rahab’s home along the city walls…“And it was told to the king of Jericho, “Behold, men of Israel have come here tonight to search out the land.” Then the king of Jericho sent to Rahab, saying, “Bring out the men who have come to you, who entered your house, for they have come to search out all the land.” But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. And she said, “True, the men came to me, but I did not know where they were from. And when the gate was about to be closed at dark, the men went out. I do not know where the men went. Pursue them quickly, for you will overtake them.” But she had brought them up to the roof and hid them with the stalks of flax that she had laid in order on the roof. So the men pursued after them on the way to the Jordan as far as the fords. And the gate was shut as soon as the pursuers had gone out. Before the men lay down, she came up to them on the roof and said to the men, Rahab had heard stories of who their God was, she wanted to be on their side and find out more about the God of the Israelites “I know that the Lord has given you the land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away before you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were beyond the Jordan, to Sihon and Og, whom you devoted to destruction. And as soon as we heard it, our hearts melted, and there was no spirit left in any man because of you, for the Lord your God, he is God in the heavens above and on the earth beneath. She made them promise to protect her and her family to preserve them, she wanted to join in their faith! “Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that, as I have dealt kindly with you, you also will deal kindly with my father’s house, and give me a sure sign that you will save alive my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and deliver our lives from death.” And the men said to her, “Our life for yours even to death! If you do not tell this business of ours, then when the Lord gives us the land we will deal kindly and faithfully with you.” Then she let them down by a rope through the window, for her house was built into the city wall, so that she lived in the wall. And she said to them, “Go into the hills, or the pursuers will encounter you, and hide there three days until the pursuers have returned. Then afterward you may go your way.” The men said to her, “We will be guiltless with respect to this oath of yours that you have made us swear. Behold, when we come into the land, you shall tie this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and you shall gather into your house your father and mother, your brothers, and all your father’s household. Then if anyone goes out of the doors of your house into the street, his blood shall be on his own head, and we shall be guiltless. But if a hand is laid on anyone who is with you in the house, his blood shall be on our head. But if you tell this business of ours, then we shall be guiltless with respect to your oath that you have made us swear.” And she said, “According to your words, so be it.” Then she sent them away, and they departed. And she tied the scarlet cord in the window. They departed and went into the hills and remained there three days until the pursuers returned, and the pursuers searched all along the way and found nothing. Then the two men returned. They came down from the hills and passed over and came to Joshua the son of Nun, and they told him all that had happened to them. And they said to Joshua, “Truly the Lord has given all the land into our hands. And also, all the inhabitants of the land melt away because of us.”
Joshua 2:1‭-‬24 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/jos.2.1-24.ESV Rahab was a woman who had a reputation and she was also a Canaanite, they believed in idol worship of Baal. She also had a hunger and yearning inside of her for something that she was missing, that was God. She had heard the stories of the God of the Israelites and how He sent plagues and parted the Red Sea while delivering them from Egypt. She wanted to know that same God and His power. So she befriended and aided the men, learning more about their God while she hid them from her own people. She promised them protection if they did the same for her. This was her escape, her way out of the ways of life she knew-a new beginning when she and her family left and went with them. Rahab later married a young man named Salmon from the tribe of Judah. He was in fact the descendant of Hezron one of Judah’s twin sons by Tamar. Salmon was their fifth great grandson! God is always working! No matter what the family circumstances, God uses it all for a greater purpose! Now let’s meet Rahab’s future daughter in law…

Ruth: A Beautiful Love Story of Patience & Redemption- (personally one of my favorite characters and books of the Bible). Ruth was not an Israelite. She was a Moabite woman who married an Israelite man Mahlon the son of Naomi and Elimelech. Elimelech and Mahlon and their other son Chilion all died leaving Naomi and her daughters-in- law Ruth and Orpah widowed. Naomi told Ruth and Orpah that were free to leave and go back to their homeland and their families, Orpah went on and moved on with her life. Ruth decided to stay with her dear devoted mother in law, she couldn’t leave her in her time of need and grief. She had no family and no one to take care of her. Plus, Ruth had grown well acquainted and accustomed to their way of life, their religion and way of worship. Their God was like no other god, at least any she had heard of in Moab her homeland. “When Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them, she and her daughters-in-law prepared to return home from there. With her two daughters-in-law she left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah. Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.” Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord ’s hand has turned against me!” At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem.”
Ruth 1:6‭-‬19a NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/rut.1.6-19.NIV

Bathsheba: A scandalous story of adultery, heartache and God’s redemptive power of His covenant. Y’all if you think the Bible is boring or full of perfect people, you’ve been not really reading or paying much attention yet. No matter how broken and messed up we are in our own sin and choices, God loves us enough still to forgive us and redeem our story for His glory! Even a “man after God’s own heart” King David made mistakes, but God is so loving to forgive! Bathsheba was married to a mighty soldier named Uriah. David was the King at that time and his troops were at war. One day King David was walking his rooftop terrace of his palace and his eyes landed upon a beautiful young woman bathing on her rooftop. The seeds of lust had been planted, he could’ve looked away and went on about his day but he let his thoughts get the best of him. He sent for her to come see him. Then began a love affair with a married woman. She became pregnant, while her brave husband Uriah was away so the child she was carrying couldn’t possibly be his! David arranged for Uriah to come home on leave to spend time with his wife so the pregnancy could seem legitimate. However Uriah did not want to abandon his responsibilities during war. David then plotted to have him killed in battle. King David then married Bathsheba and they lost that child, but later had more children together including the wise King Solomon. From Solomon’s lineage came many good and bad kings, and Joseph came from the “house and lineage of David”.

Now let’s really fast forward several generations (approximately 14 generations from Abraham to David,  14 generations from David to Exile and 14 more generations to Jesus’s birth, roughly 42 generations equaling a few thousand years maybe, you do the math) from the Old Testament branches to New Testament branches of Jesus Christ’ family tree. The plan had been prophesied years before He came to earth! Read here in Matthew 1:1-17 “This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:  Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,  Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar, Perez the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram,  Ram the father of Amminadab, Amminadab the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon,  Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse,  and Jesse the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,  Solomon the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa,  Asa the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram, Jehoram the father of Uzziah,  Uzziah the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,  Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, Manasseh the father of Amon, Amon the father of Josiah,  and Josiah the father of Jeconiah and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon.  After the exile to Babylon: Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,  Zerubbabel the father of Abihud, Abihud the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor,  Azor the father of Zadok, Zadok the father of Akim, Akim the father of Elihud,  Elihud the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob,  and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.  Thus there were fourteen generations in all from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the exile to Babylon, and fourteen from the exile to the Messiah.”
Matthew 1:1‭-‬17 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.1.1-17.NIV

Now let’s pick up with Mary and Joseph…

Mary: The Favored Young Maidservant of the Lord, mother of the Savior-A young woman betrothed to the love of her life, an older man who loved her and dreamed of taking care of her. The were making plans of their future together. One day unexpected visitor came and changed their lives one visit at a time. That same heavenly visitor saw her dear cousin Elizabeth months before. That visitor was an angel named Gabriel. Mary, so young and a life full of love and marriage as a new wife ahead of her…was about to become a new mother as well. Biologically and physically speaking that was IMPOSSIBLE, she had not been with Joseph they were waiting until they were married to have relations. She had never been with anyone else, she was a virgin. What would people think of her? An unwed mother? Most importantly what would her dear Joseph think of her? Her mind raced to many things in that moment. She couldn’t fathom how she could be carrying a child. The angel Gabriel sensed the sudden distress on her face and told her to not fear. Not to fear because the Holy Spirit would plant a seed in her womb that would bring forth the Savior of the world. Not to fear because she had been chosen and favored. The angel told her specific details even what to name her son, his name would be Jesus.

Joseph: The Unexpected Earthly Father- Hardworking, rugged, God fearing man with a plan-that was Joseph. He was engaged to the woman of his dreams who loved the Lord and family. Together they would one day create a family of their own. Years of carpentry and woodworking as a family trade, he couldn’t wait to build a home and life with Mary and teach his future sons his craftsmanship skills. Fishing together, all the memories a father wants to make with his children. He was quite a bit older than his young wife, so they definitely wanted children. Little did they know how soon  that dream would be a reality. That beautiful, glowing, unexpected heavenly visitor named Gabriel was almost finished fulfilling his earthly assignments-Joseph was the last one he needed to see to complete his mission. Joseph wasn’t last simply because he was the least important…in fact he was a vital part of the plan. Joseph’s faith in the Lord would be needed to manifest his faithfulness and trustworthiness of his wife to be, Mary. He knew she loved him and here she was pregnant to surprise. He had not only an important holy duty as a husband but now as a father. A godly father to raise the earthly SON OF GOD, talk about quite a task! The boy who he carried on his shoulders and played with, would soon carry the weight of the world at the Cross. Mary, the chosen pure maidservant of the Lord…young and innocent could not raise this child on her own. That is why God chose and created them to be a family. Family is not anything to be taken lightly. Marriage and family was instituted and created by God. Joseph could not abandon and divorce her at a time like this just because what other people may have thought of their “illegitimate and out of wedlock” child. This was no mistake. This was God’s plan. After all, Joseph himself was indeed the descendant of the tribe of Judah…a descendant of King David just as the prophecy had been told. Gabriel even told Joseph just like he did Mary, what exactly to name their child…Jesus.

You see now how it all connects, one continuous thread, a tapestry woven by different individual stories and their families creating one bigger picture of one beautiful family. God delights in what He created: He created humanity and He designed the idea of family. So with that being said, go do some digging and researching on your own roots and heritage and spend more time with your family: your actual family God put you in, and your spiritual family meaning your brothers and sisters in Christ. I encourage you to study your bible-God’s Word, your history, and in the words of Dolly Parton find out who you are and do it on purpose!

With love, legacy, heritage and grace

Heather H. Carnley

A Penny For Your Thoughts: Know Your Worth

Many of you have heard the phrase, “a penny for your thoughts”. Hundreds of thousands of thoughts flood our minds daily. If you’re anything like me (borderline ADHD multitasker) your thoughts bounce all over the place, which is why I keep a notebook near for any random creative ideas I may have. Thoughts can be good, bad, random and everything in between. Scripture states in Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 10:5), “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”. {2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/2co.10.5.ESV}. Taking every thought captive, and holding it to Christ’ light. Opinions lose sight and do not hold as much value when compared to facts, meaning the Way, the Truth and the Light (Jesus, John 14:6). Paul also writes another letter to his friends the Philippians as well (Philippians 4:8) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Our simple thoughts, opinions and ideas can either destroy us or encourage us on the journey Christ has called us to. Anything negative, raised against the knowledge of God including the fact that we are indeed created in His image…which negative self talk, self image and self doubt have no place to crowd your mind. Oh snap. An opinion that doesn’t line up with God’s word, is lofty” and must be “destroyed”. Our thoughts can be or our biggest downfall our greatest asset. We need only to think upon these things like it says in His Word that are “pure”, “honorable”, “true”.

So what happens when we listen to things that are NOT true and let those things steal our thoughts away?

I want to share with you a little interesting tidbit about a new hobby that my husband Wes and I just started a few months ago, coin collecting. (Where’s my fellow jingle junkies at?!) I remember my mom giving me a Susan B. Anthony  dollar coin because  I did a report on her in third grade.  I remember when the Sacagawea gold dollar coin came out in 2000. When I was a kid in 1999, I remember when the first state quarters came out and my uncle and mom had a book and started collecting them. Each one had something unique that represented each of the 50 states. Wes and his brother say they remember their mom having a book of state quarters as well. My mother in law , has a collection of wheat pennies that my husband now has. Wes started this with pennies, mainly because they are the easiest entry level and cheapest way to start coin collecting. One roll of pennies is 50 cent, a roll of nickels is only $2, a roll of dimes is only $5, and a roll of quarters is $10. Some people buy them by the box from the bank, just to open them all and hunt for rare coins. To think, something that we used to use almost daily (now its debit or credit), is now rare. The value of saving up and counting coins, has it lost its charm? What makes rare coins worth collecting? Some are composed of different metals-pure silver, copper, and steel and some are percent mixtures of different metals. Some were struck accidentally by the stamp at the mint and have a rare error that makes them unique and valuable. Some are special edition and commemorative. Some were made exclusively during a certain historical period bearing heritage on its face. Some coins were made it small batches making them hard to find, the more rare the better. Some were completely messed up, a dime stamped on a penny. Errors, mistakes, irregularities, small quantities, all these factors make them unique. The coins are graded by appraisers from different mints, to see what kind of metals they are. There they know their worth.

How many times in life, are we like these coins? We think our errors, flaws and mistakes make us less than or some how depreciate our value. These indeed in fact prove the opposite, they are worth more. We think that our small contribution, like a 1 cent penny pales in comparison to larger coins like quarters, half dollars, and gold dollars. We compare ourselves to others who may be more new or shinier than ourselves. You see, most coins bear their mint mark of where they were made: “P” for Philadelphia, “D” for Denver, and “S” for San Francisco. Coins are graded and appraised by people who know the content and makeup of these coins. We, bear the “mark” of our Savior, He determines our value because He knows exactly how we are made, because He crafted and created us Himself.

I leave you with this passage the “The Parable of the Lost Coin” found in Luke 15:8-10 “… Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
(Luke 15:8‭-‬10 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/luk.15.8-10.ESV) Once again, it doesn’t matter the quantity but the quality. Each coin has worth. You see, every coin added together creates a greater sum. The body of Christ as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We belong to the Maker, and He thinks you and I are in “mint condition”.

Here’s another little quote, my mama taught me as a little girl, “See a penny, pick it up all day long have good luck.” Even if it was on tails, I’d flip it over and see ole honest Abe, made good luck for someone else. ❤ Know your worth.

-with love, Heather

Our coin collecting books: Wheat Pennies from 1909-1959, State Quarters from 1999-2009, and National Park Quarters from 2010-2021.
A handful of change, different eras, different markings, different coins. All valuable in their own unique way. Pictured in the background are half dollars composed of large amounts of pure silver.

No More

Enough is enough. Time to stand up. Take a stand.

No more Christian nice girl. Being nice is easy. The hard the thing is being nice when it has become something people use to their advantage on you. Not happening anymore.

No more being a doormat to others, I refuse to being walked over.

No more letting others’ opinions of me or what they think “I should do” rule how I do things in my life.

No more being disrespected or looked over as my opinions or ideas don’t matter.

No more guilt tripping from others. Your happiness and mood does NOT depend on me or my shoulders, and mine certainly doesn’t depend on you. Your responsibilities don’t belong on my shoulders. My responsibilities belong to me. God gave them to me, I will be a good steward.

No more sitting idly by and watch the world fall by the wayside. Sin running rampant and ruin lives. Not today Satan.

No more wasting time and energy.

No more worrying what others think of me. Their opinions do not determine or define my worth or value.

No more feeling inadequate. No more feeling insecure. No more feeling less than or better than.

No more feeling judged. No more feeling left out.

No more believing the lies of the enemy. No more settling for less.

No more negative self-talk.

No more niceness being mistaken naivety. Being a nice and good wholesome is not a free ticket to be treated as if you are dumb.

No more worry. No more doubt. No more fear.

Enough is enough.

I am good enough. You are good enough. I am better than the lies from the enemy that thwart and twist the real truth, no one is better than or less than. Every doubt, fear, and worry and insecurity fades away.

Take back your heart. Put it in the hands of the One who created it. The only acceptable surrender is to God, not others. Declaration of dependence on God alone. Declaration of defiance to the enemy. No more Christian nice girl, this princess wears armor not just a crown. Suit up, sis.

Think on it.

Do you ever just have to stop and pause sometimes? Well I’m asking you to just stop. Just pause and think before you have a thought. Pause before judging. Pause before becoming jealous. Pause before negative self talk. Pause and THINK: T- is it true? H-is it helpful? I-is it inspiring? N-is it necessary? K-is it kind?

{I am her} or {I was her} is threaded throughout just so you know I’m not calling anyone out or saying that these things are only how I see others because I , too have been there. You are NOT alone. I feel you, girl.

Stop saying things like “You’re not a mom, you don’t understand.” Or stop saying things like “You don’t know what it’s like to have anxiety”. I’m 99.9% sure you’re NOT the only person who feels things the way you do. Since when did society become a contest of who’s more busy, who’s more supermom or perfect housewife, who’s more successful at their career, or who’s got more issues? “Wonder Woman” becomes a woman who wonders why and how I do it all? Why do we compare? Why do we judge? So what if you’re a stay-at- home mom (thats great you can enjoy more time with your babies, a blessing!) and your bestie is a working mom who takes her kids to daycare, or better yet what if she doesn’t have kids yet? Doesn’t mean you or her either one is any less of a mom because of parenting choices. Breastfed or formula, homemade puree baby food or store bought: either way mama you are feeding your growing little human. You are a mama and that in itself is a gift. And the friend or family member isn’t any less of a woman just because she is not yet a mother who brought life into this world. What if she isn’t ready yet? {I am her} What if she and her husband want to grow as a couple in their marriage before bringing tiny humans into the picture? {I am her}What if sadly she struggles with infertility? {Many of my friends face this} What if you’re a self made, work from home, ground- up, start-up business entrepreneur rather than your friend who is “stuck” in a 9-5 job where she desperately wants to flourish and grow but feels trapped? If you are an entrepreneur, girl own it! I’m proud of you! Embrace the privilege and insight God has gifted you with, enjoy the process! If you’re in a job or career where you want to change or feel stuck, maybe God has you there for a season (however long that season maybe months, years, or decades) to grow you and prepare for every season, again embrace the process! Your diligence, hard work and perserverance don’t go unnoticed. I’m proud of you too! Don’t spend each day waiting for the next big change, step or life event.{I was her} Or here’s another; a woman who’s career choice others may consider difficult, hard, stressful and may not understand why she does it, but she absolutely loves it even if the pay isn’t as much, but the rewards are far greater? {I am her} (Example: childcare teachers like myself, or first responders-a volunteer firefighter like my husband). What about the single friend who’s the last one left of the squad to find someone? The divorced friend? The single parent friend? What about her, she has a picturesque perfect Better Homes & Garden style home that is perfectly decorated, organized and CLEAN. What if she struggles OCD or compulsive cleaning and feels like a failure because things are a mess, maybe she feels like if she fixes things and tidyed up here and there that she’s got it somewhat together and things in her control even if it’s temporary. {I am her} The one who seems to always smile and be a ray of sunshine to everyone but hurts inside. {I was her} The one who has anxiety attacks from things she can’t control or irrational fears and someone just says “Calm down and stop freaking out”, “You’re overreacting it’s not that serious”. People struggle secretly with different things like this. {I was her} Anxiety is a real thing, not made up. It comes in different forms from irrational fears and phobias, to feeling like you have no control over a situation, or fear of missing out (fomo as people call it) or feeling left out or less than? {I am her}

Do you see a pattern here? These things are thoughts that we create in our own minds and they hold us prisoner and captive. Scripture says we are to take every thought captive, and hold it to the light of truth to God’s Word! Philippians 4:8 states “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.
(NIV) If it isn’t pleasing or pleasant, encouraging or edifying; toss it out of your mind like yesterday’s trash! Negative thoughts should not hold us captive!

I ask all these questions and bring out all these traits and flaws because of judgement and insecurity. What if we stop judging the other mom, the other wife, the other teacher or co-worker, the other entrepreneur, the other sister, the other friend about how they do things differently than you? Just because someone has a different method or idea than you doesn’t mean their thought process is wrong: its just different (and thats okay!) The old saying “Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you” is correct. Have you ever gotten mad at someone and they didn’t even know it? Sometimes we make up the “mean girl” syndrome in our own minds thinking “oh well she’s judging me”, or “I don’t agree with her on things so we must not be friends” or “she didn’t include me, I felt left out” and the thoughts of what we felt when we misheard someone or how we perceived and received what they said (communication is 90% of how you say it rather what you say; delivery is everything). I would get upset with friends or family when I feel they don’t support me in the little things, not invite me, or feel like they secretly judge me, or just don’t have time for or appreciate me. God had been teaching me and showing me grace in these areas. We may think people are mad at us, or we find a reason to be mad at them, or we think someone is judging us or we find some reason to judge them. Jealousy leads to judgement. Which leads to a root of bitterness. Once again, creating a prison of our own thoughts! Things that may not even be realistic or in all actuality even true! The lies we believe come from the enemy, to try to make us mad at our other brothers and sisters in Christ. We must not let our stereotypes, lifestyles, thoughts, opinions or anything define us or make us define others. We are NOT perfect beings. There is no perfect husband or wife, perfect mom and dad, or perfect kids. We are all learning as we go. No one, has it all together. If we stop pretending as if we do and just talk with others about their same struggles we can muddle through the beautiful mess together. The struggle is real, but so is Jesus. We must be REAL and raw and authentic, listen without judgement or even listen without the sake of responding, sometimes people need to be heard, not always advised or fixed. (Look up in Scripture about Job’s friends there’s alot to learn from them both good and bad). You must take this seriously, not lightly…when someone comes to you in confidence and confidentially keep it that way. Your worth or mine, is not defined but how you judge people but how you treat people, or by what you do but who you are. Judge not lest you be judged. Affirm someone by not assuming you know their story. Love one another, bear one another’s burdens. Chances are someone else really does know how it feels. Joy over judgement. Be intentional, not insecure. Be kind, not catty.


An open letter to the girl who feels left out…

Dear girl,

You are sitting at home and you scroll through your newsfeed, there it is…your best friends went out without you or family and coworkers had a get together and you simply were not invited. Or if you try plan something, no one can come or has other plans…thats life its okay we are all busy. But the lie that the enemy is whispering “your friends don’t have time for you” and “nobody wants to hang out with you or be your friend”.

Someone you love, whether family, a parent or friend or boyfriend or husband…left from your life and isn’t coming back. The lie of “I wasn’t good enough to make them stay, they didn’t want me”.

You hear snickers and whispers and then they get quiet when you enter. You wonder if they were talking about you. Important information wasn’t communicated to you, you were simply left out of the loop. Once again the lie of “they were talking about you, they don’t like you”.

You are the only single girl left, your friends are all engaged or married. You are the only one of your friends or siblings without children. You feel like you’re waiting on a husband or maybe you and husband are waiting and desperately praying for a baby. The sting of “you’re single enjoy it”, “you’re not married yet, someone needs to snatch you up!”, “when do you want to have kids?” or the classic “you’re not a mom you wouldn’t understand”. These kinds of comments make you feel like the world is moving forward and you’re stuck. The comments from good-intention family and friends, or strangers who don’t know your story…comments that sting and make you believe the lies from the enemy.

The fear of missing out.

Your creative new idea was shot down just as soon as you got excited about it. The lie of “that was stupid why did you try that?”

You give your best and try to accomplish what you can, your progress is evident but the way the “constructive criticism” or guidance was delivered made you believe the lie of “you’re not good enough”or “you can’t do this right”.

Insecure. Uninvited. Inadequate. Left out. Lonely. Abandoned. Unaccepted. Rejection. All of these are lies.

You, my dear sister are not the only one who has ever felt this way. I, too know what its like because I am just like you. I have felt rejection or the constant pity party of being left out or forgotten or looked over. Pity parties are no fun when you’re the only one with an invitation! Duh!

In some way, shape, or form we have all experienced some kind of disappointment or rejection in life. Whether it was intentional or not. Sometimes people don’t realize they hurt someone’s feelings.

How do we deal with this type of hurt? The answer…we go to the truth instead of falling for the lies. Those lies come directly from the enemy who wants to destroy you.

I am who HE says I am.

I am loved. I am created by Him. I am treasured and cherished. I am His beloved. I am beautiful, not ugly. I am not a mistake. I am wanted. I am good enough. I am worthy of His love. I am strong, but my weaknesses glorify His strength. I am smart, not stupid. The only thing stupid are Satan’s lies. I am not perfect but His mercy and grace renews me. I am not alone, He is with me. I am not abandoned because He has never left me. I don’t have to feel left of people’s plans because His plans are far greater than what I think I’m missing out in life. He gives me what I need rather than what I always want. His timing is far greater than my day to day calendar and schedule. My life is not meant to be lived by someone else and neither can I live theirs. I can only be who He made me to be. My worth, I was born with nothing I will do or won’t do can make my worth any more or less. His creation is worthy of His love. My hope is secure.

Here are some verses to remind you:

When you feel alone:

Isaiah 41:10- “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

When you feel insecure:

Psalm 139:13-14 –“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

When you feel unworthy:

1 Peter 2:9- But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

When you feel like you’re missing out:

Ecclesiastes 3:11“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to.”

-Sincerely, the girl who used to feel less than who now knows true worth. ❤

S

Women of the Word: A Series of Women of the Bible and Their Stories

Have you ever wondered how it must have felt to be woman or girl living in Biblical times? Society and the world in general were much different. Customs and cultures were different. Family, your work, and your faith meant everything; much like it does today. Women however weren’t mentioned as much in ancestry and genealogy throughout the Bible because names and inheritance were passed down through fathers to sons. Women’s opinions and leadership weren’t discussed near as much, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t have a voice or leadership. There are many women in the Bible mentioned by name for their role they play in important, life-changing, historical events in the Bible. After all, without mothers who gave birth how would any of us be here?

Too many times throughout history, there’s a common misconception of the past that women were “to be seen and not heard”. In my humble opinion, I’ve seen numerous stories of women in the Bible and throughout the course of history worldwide that have challenged that stigma and rumor because they were called by God to make a change someway somehow. So we are going to take a little journey back through time and into the hearts and minds of women and girls who walked those same dusty roads that Jesus did. The women who walked, talked, and did life together with their husbands like Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob-just to name a few! Scripture itself says God created woman to be a helpmate to man; neither inferior nor superior. Genesis 2:18 says “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Ladies, we were handcrafted carefully and uniquely by God. He doesn’t make mistakes; He saw that everything He made was good. He makes beautiful things, with beautiful purposes. So in this next series we are going to explore the depths of each of these women’s hearts. To walk in her shoes, or sandals so to speak. To feel what she felt. To know her story, not just her name.

Each devotional narrative will include an introduction to the chapter/book of the Bible, such as the setting, cultural context, and character as well as characteristics and virtues in her (or that describe her), perspective-telling her story from her own point of view-her hopes, her dreams, her fears, her struggles, her lessons learned, and most importantly her faith. Each section will highlight three aspects: Her Hope, Her Story, Her Prayer, and reflection/prayer with reflection questions, Scripture based guided prayer points just for you! Get ready to dig into the Word through the eyes and hearts of women who lived it!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS: JANUARY 2017, WE BEGIN OUR SERIES!

-Your Sister in Christ,
Heather

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“The ‘Big’ Truth about Body Image & The ‘Skinny’ on Body Shaming”by Heather H.

“The ‘Big’ Truth about Body Image & The ‘Skinny’ on Body Shaming”

Let’s be honest here, we see it all over the media and in society’s portrayals on so-called beauty and what a “perfect body” looks like. For many years, celebrities and everyday people have been called ugly, cruel names such as “fat”, or “obese” for not being the “ideal size”. For many years as well, modeling agencies have had a standard of what they look for in a model, the taller the better and the skinnier the better. We’ve heard horror stories about anorexia and bulimia. The truth is those are not just statistics and stories, but they are real people…real women (and even men!) who struggle with body image. The truth is that we all know that not everyone is created and built the same. Some of us are a 5’8 slender build (like myself) with long legs, long arms, big hands with long graceful fingers, but huge feet that are nearly impossible to find shoes that fit that are actually cute! Or the struggles of finding jeans that don’t make you look like you’re expecting a flood!

Some of us are a 5’2 rounder build with a little more “junk in the trunk” or a bit more curves, shorter legs, and dainty small feet, a nice voluptuous figure. But there’s some who are in the middle…maybe a little taller or shorter, some maybe a little more “blessed in the chest” than others, or you feel like you’re still waiting to hit puberty when all your friends are buying their first real bra. Let’s face the real honest truth ladies, no matter what age you are 13, 22, or 45 we compare our bodies to others whether the bodies of our peers and girlfriends or the airbrushed bodies in magazines and ads. However, calling yourself “fat” or someone else “big-boned” or “obese” is not the answer. Neither is calling someone “scrawny”, or “too skinny”, and “bony”, both are just as hurtful. All name-calling is hurtful.

The “body shaming” trend in media and the rise against body shaming is everywhere! The truth is you should NEVER been ashamed of the body God handcrafted that is home to your soul. I had always gotten picked on for being so skinny, I can’t count how many times I’ve been told “Girl you should eat a cheeseburger or somethin!”, “Girl, you’re gonna blow away with the wind!”, or the most annoying “When are you gonna gain some weight?” I dealt with it, there were days it made me mad, and there were days I thought I may have some kind of problem, some people thought I had an eating disorder. (which I never did). They say “stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, that’s one of the biggest lies on the face of the earth. According to anad.org (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) “Bulimia nervosa is characterized by recurrent and frequent episodes of eating unusually large amounts of food (e.g., binge-eating), and feeling a lack of control over the eating. This binge-eating is followed by a type of behavior that compensates for the binge, such as purging (e.g., vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics), fasting and/or excessive exercise.” and anorexia is a little bit different, “Anorexia nervosa is characterized by emaciation, a relentless pursuit of thinness and unwillingness to maintain a normal or healthy weight, a distortion of body image and intense fear of gaining weight, a lack of menstruation among girls and women, and extremely disturbed eating behavior. Some people with anorexia lose weight by dieting and exercising excessively; others lose weight by self-induced vomiting, or misusing laxatives, diuretics or enemas.” Both of these disorders give a human being a distorted false view of their own body, thinking that their “fat” when in reality everyone else can see that they are wasting away. If you or someone you know maybe struggling with an eating disorder there are listed symptoms, warning signs and resources to find help on anad.org.

Obesity, on the other hand is defined as “Obesity is a complex disorder involving an excessive amount of body fat. Obesity isn’t just a cosmetic concern. It increases your risk of diseases and health problems, such as heart disease, diabetes and high blood pressure. Being extremely obese means you are especially likely to have health problems related to your weight.” according to the MayoClinic.org. On the flip side of things, for many years ladies on the “heavier” side have been ridiculed mercilessy for their size as well! This is NOT okay people! The classic lines of “Oh she’s got a pretty face, but she’s a bit on the heavy side”, or being told they need to lose weight. Weight gain has been struggle for many women, whether they used to be slim and fit in figure, and may have gained weight after giving birth to beautiful children! Never be ashamed of stretchmarks or any type of scar, they tell a story and make you who you are!

However, the bottom line everything comes down is…YOUR HEALTH! Whether you are a size 2 or a size 14, it doesn’t matter about shape and size; it matters how your body feels inside! As I mentioned your body is a home for your soul. C.S. Lewis once said, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have bodies.” Your body is a temple where Jesus Christ lives in YOU! Do you want a junky, messy living room for the Lord and Savior of your life to dwell in? I sure don’t! Now, don’t get me wrong…I love my sweets and have a lil bit of habit BUT I actually love fruits and veggies, juice and plenty of water! It’s okay to balance out your little junk foods every once in a while with a healthy dose of clean eating! I’ve taken small steps such as cutting back on sodas, drinking lots of water and juice as well! There are many healthy recipes on Pinterest and many other websites! It’s really a proactive effort. In all reality though, nothing beats good ole fashion exercise (of any kind, just be active!) and well balanced eating habits.I want to leave you with these simple truths: 1) Body Shaming is NOT okay, don’t be jealous of someone smaller or bigger than you. 2) A healthy lifestyle is important, we glorify and honor God with our bodies (plus don’t you wanna feel better?!) 3) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! It’s time to let your outside match your inside! Your beautiful soul shines through to your outer appearance! You are made in His image! Your are a princess daughter, who walks in confidence! Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” He crafted every cell and fiber of your body together! Here’s to all you beautiful ladies out there, don’t let a number on a scale or size on a tag define you, let your Maker and your hard work at a healthy life define you!

With love your sister in Christ,
Heather

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