Its honestly taken me a few days to really process and articulate this into words. An event that happened 20 years ago yet still feels like yesterday when the images are tattooed in your memories as a growing anxious and awkward middle school adolescent. September 11, 2001- a day many people will never forget if you were old to remember it all unfolding. I was a lanky, gangly, shy, anxiety ridden eleven year old. I had just started sixth grade, that day was our fall picture day, sadly no one felt like smiling for their yearbook photo unless it was a halfhearted nervous easy smile, because we were confused and not really sure what was going. When the announcement came on from our principal that some planes had crashed we didn’t really know what was going on, until our teachers turned on the TVs in our classrooms. I was in my art class, and my teacher Mrs. Crenshaw The images were hard to watch, but hard to look away from in shock of what was happening. Then they said those words most kids had never really heard of thought of: terrorist attack. Sure it struck terror to anyone who saw it, but what does that even mean? We thought someone unfortunately crashed a plane on accident, but then TWO planes and then MORE in other places, you mean someone strategically attacked on purpose with the sole intent of fear and terror in the hearts of thousands and millions of people?! Yes, that’s exactly what happened.
Now, to an eleven year kid who just lost her grandpap earlier that year, watched these terror attacks unfold, been diagnosed with asthma while at a doctor appointment with a sprained ankle from basketball conditioning and tryouts, a retainer and glasses, already diagnosed with anxiety in elementary school…my little sheltered world was not all blue skies and sunny days. When I was a young girl fear, faith and fall all used to collide. Anxiety and depression are real. As a little girl who dealt with fear constantly, October was a time when everything scary and frightening came to reality…even if was fake. Scary movies, costumes, ghost stories all of the above made their debut in October. I dealt with anxiety, shyness (that was a very brief season in my life), nervousness crippled me at times. I would find excuses and let things hold me back. When I was a teenager, the anxiety had weakened but depression was more on the forefront. I would get nauseous at the thought of getting up to speak or even sing in front of an audience. Fast forward ten years later, I speak and sing and teach all the time now. It’s as natural as breathing. God conquered my fears and doubts with growing my faith. Fear and faith can’t exist in the same dwelling place. God has been teaching me throughout the last few years that change is a normal part of life. In the past few years, I graduated college, changed careers, lost loved ones, and blessed with a beautiful relationship, laughed, cried, struggled and became more brave. Life is full of change. How we adapt to change is how we learn and grow.
Pause for a REFLECTION QUESTION: What point or events in your life have changed or challenged your perspective whether for worse or for better? If worse, how can you change your perspective?
Fast forward a little over a year and a half later our country goes to war in March 2003. In my lifetime I’d never seen a war. I was too young to remember the first Desert Storm in the 90s. The recent events in the past month our troops have come home but there is still turmoil in the middle east and there’s still work to be done. The world is full or fighting- alot of it fighting over things that don’t matter. Fast forward to 2020, a global pandemic called COVID-19 the coronavirus. Business and school shutdowns, social distancing, sanitizer, cleaning products, stay six feet away, virtual learning for schools, no social gatherings, economic struggles, etc. Then things started to get back to a new normal and a vaccine came into the scene. Then recently the COVID delta variant emerged far worse than its predecessor. Here is a list of what people fight about to this day: Pro Gun/Anti Gun, Pro Life/Pro Choice, LBTQ+ , the Vaccinated and the Unvaccinated, Wear a mask or don’t wear a mask and the list goes on and on increasing more trivial as we go. All I want to say is do you remember SEPTEMBER 12, 2001? The day after the attacks where it did not matter what state you were from, what neighborhood or socioeconomic class you were, what color your skin is or what religion you are, whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, at that point we were and are all Americans hurting and embracing each other in the midst of tragedy and crisis. The world not just our nation is facing a crisis and people want to fight and cause more distress? What happened? This is a time we need to examine our hearts and motives, our own personal convictions and relationship with God our creator. Give yourself grace, and show others grace. Put down your weapons for a moment because you’re fighting the wrong enemy: when the enemy can cause division amongst a connected group or body of believers he’s made a civil war amongst them. Recollect yourselves, bear one another’s burdens, pray and then pick up your sword to fight the real enemy.
Joshua 1:9 the Lord says to Joshua “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” The Lord said I commanded you not to be scared, it wasn’t a suggestion to be strong. Sometimes being strong is the only option you have. Joshua had no choice but to move on and prepare to conquer without fear, but in full faith. The only other choice would’ve been to back down and quit.
It’s time to change the narrative, flip the script and do better. Get back to the basics y’all. Wake up people. Seek Him. I leave you with this verse and prayer from 2 Chronicles 7:14 “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV
https://2chronicles.bible/2-chronicles-7-14
With hope for a better kingdom, Heather H. Carnley
Hope For Her Heart 