The popular 2004 movie, “Mean Girls” gave everyone an inside scoop on what it’s like to be a high school girl. Although a lot of the movie was exaggerated for laughs, a lot of it can be true. Girls can be vicious, admit it. We’ve all had our heart broken by a boy probably at least once in our life, or been picked on by a guy (that’s their way of “flirting”) but let’s face it no many how tears you’ve shed of a silly boy the wounds from our fellow females can hurt worse. Why do we do that, huh ladies? Is there a reason, logic or science behind our motives? First things first, bullying is not cool. We know that girls and guys are definitely wired differently in the way we think and interact with others. We know that guys loves a healthy dose of competition to stroke their ego a little bit, but guys don’t hold on to grudges like girls do. Sometimes I’d actually rather hang out with my brothers and guy friends than some girls because the fellas are less dramatic! I love my girlfriends though! Guys will throw a few punches maybe and have a few words, then be friends again five minutes later and be all like “hey bro, I’m sorry man”. Girls on the other hand, we can be very competitive as well, but usually do not show it until that green-eyed monster comes lurking up and sneaks out of us, not quite as loudly and angrily as The Hulk, but more manipulative and cunning…you guessed it, the green-eyed monster called JEALOUSLY.
In last week’s article, I talked about body image, self-esteem and the media trend of “body shaming”. Since when did it become okay to slam someone or shame someone because of their size? We, as ladies are constantly comparing ourselves to each other! I’m just as guilty, I’m only human too my sister! Sometimes it can be comparing our weight or clothing size as we already mentioned. Sometimes, (for any of my elementary and middle school girls) it could be that little girl that sits next to us in class who has the cutest new Disney Princess or Lilly Pulitzer notebook and book bag to match and we just have plain ole wide-ruled spiral bound notebooks and a hand me down book bag and last year’s outfit while she’s sporting a new wardrobe. Or it could be that head cheerleader who’s so popular that every guy wants to date, and your crush just asked her to prom instead of even glancing in your direction. Even grown-ups deal with the same thing, the woman in the cubicle next to you-your “work bestie” got the promotion and you didn’t. Or someone is getting more hours than you while your shifts get cut back. What about the new girl who is “stealing” your friends? (Let’s be honest, she’s not “stealing your friends” she’s just trying to make friends, including YOU!) Or let’s get real, you see some girl supposedly flirting with your man! Oh no she didn’t! Ladies we all face real life situations of petty jealously! But what about the words some girls same that cut us to the core, or when your best friend lets you down, or worse…stabs you in the back? Girls don’t throw punches and fight it out like boys do, girls use words and gossip and manipulation…also the worst tactic making someone feel left out.
The question is WHY?! Girls this is not all fun and games. Words hurt, the Bible even speaks of it in James 3 saying that the tongue is hard to tame. Instead of getting jealous, or feeling better than or less than one of your sisters in Christ, celebrate each other! Instead of trying always “one up” each other, why not help each other up? Each of us face a lot of the same things, sometimes you just need another woman whether older and wiser or a girlfriend your age to share and talk with. We are all in this together ladies! We are royal daughters, not jealous nasty monsters who thrive on manipulation! Whatever things are honest and noble, full of virtue-think on these and do these things! (Philippians 4:8, Proverbs 31). One of the most important things I can leave you with is, if you have been hurt by mean girls or bullied in the past…or maybe you were or are that “mean girl”…the bottom line is grace and forgiveness. Forgive those who have hurt you, and reach out to those you have hurt…show grace to yourself and others. Love each other by lifting each other up.
-Your sister in Christ, Heather